It is now nearly three weeks since my darling gave up her fight and surrendered to cancer. There is not much more that I can say except that my family and friends have been, and are, very supportive. They have made my journey much easier as I start putting my life back in order after two and a half years of helping Elaine cope with this bad disease. I am already finding that while the individuals I am dealing with are empathetic and helpful, the organisations make life difficult.

For now that is it and this is probably my last blog post.

Just six days ago my darling gave up her fight and surrendered to the cancer on Tuesday October 9 at 10.50pm.I have been doing a lot of thinking since then and feel that it was the continous and continuing UTI’s that really finished her off.  They were of course part of the problem in that her lowered resistance to infection and her weakened condition allowed them to stay around. Her weakened condition, partly also from long hours in bed did not help.

What was fantastic was, as I said last week, the way that the medical team and our wonderful family swung into action and provided comfort and support for both of us. Because of them Elaine passed quietly and peacefully at home with me, and Toni, at her side. She is now at last at peace and probably by now comuning with her parents, my mum, Todd and Gina, I miss them all terribly.

The Chevra Chadisha swung into action that night and together with the Chippers (now Purslowe Chippers) arranged the funeral on Wednesday which was well organised and professional and a fitting tribute to my lady. There were about fifty people in attendance and a similar number here for the minyan that night. My brother Tony and his wife Louise arrived here on Tuesday morning and together with our family, particularly Toni, and friends were a great support.

I miss her lots and lots and am in awe of her strength, physical and mental, in fighting this bastard of a disease for so long - more than two years longer than our doctors predicted. I like to think that I assisted in that fight in a psotive way and again I miss her.

Wow this sets a record for slackness! One whole month plus between blogs. By way of excuses it has been a difficult month.

Elaine has been gradually getting weaker and finding it difficult to move around reaching the point about two to three weeks ago when she could not get out of bed without a lot of assistance. We also had to sometimes use her walker as a wheelchair to move around. I had decided that part of the problem was the amount of time, nearly all day, that she was spending in bed which naturally caused muscle wastage. So I had embarked on a program of exercises but realised after a while that firstly I did not really know the best exercises todo. Secondly my powers of persuasion are not good when it comes to actually getting her to do them. Not that Elaine did not want to do them, but that there were issues of stiffness and inability.

In this period we had the pleasure of a week long sleepover by Lyla. It did wonders for Nannee and for me. But Elaine continued to struggle. So I asked Dr Geoff Gild to do a care plan for a physio, which he did and we contacted Zoe Brest do fill that role. She was fantastic and in just three visits had Elaine sitting up with minimal assistance. She knew what to do to get things working and I was very excited at the prospect of improvement.

Then Elaine went downhill, almost as if she had decided that it was all too hard and it was time to surrender to the cancer. That is where we are at now. Elaine has said all along that she wants to stay at home until the end and I am doing my best to make this happen. The amazing thing is that a well oiled machine has swung into action with almost no prompting from me. Dr Geoff visits at least once a day, Silver Chain comes with two girls every morning to wash Elaine and attend to the medication pump then every night to make sure she is okay and they do not ignore me making sure that I am also okay. Then there is our family who are being very attentive, particularly Toni who has been here every day.

This is a difficult period for both of us, Elaine obviously and me. We knew that this time would come and have sort of prepared ourselves but the reality hits home hard, very hard.

Well this week is not so good but last week was not really bad. After attending a ceremony at Karrakatta on Sunday Elaine rested up on the Monday. Then Monday night we went out for dinner and she was great. The rest of the week was ok until Friday when Elaine was just a bit out of sorts, I say that based on what has become normal over the past year or so. She is having a bit of trouble standing up and walking (probably partly due to her lack of physical activity) so I decided to try and get her up more often to get her muscles working. That was ok on Friday although she was really struggling by dinner time.

Saturday however was a different story and we had to call the ambulance to get her back into bed (she was half out and half in!). They found that she had a temperature, so it was back to hospital. There she will get another 7 day course of antibiotics which will hopefully sort out the issue. Also we are getting the Physio to get Elaine up and going, which is probably a lot nicer for Elaine than my clumsy efforts.

Another uneventful week, Elaine is continuing to be as well as can be expected. The pain is still there largely, but not completely, controlled by her medication. We are now trying to get out and about a bit to hopefully cheer madame up.

That is all for now.

On time this week.

Other than a midnight fall there is very little to report this week. Elaine is doing as well as can be expected. The pain continues but is more or less under control with her medication. The fall happened on Friday night, around midnight when Elaine slipped and fell in the garage. We called the ambulance and as usual they were very nice people who quickly got her back on her feet and into bed. Once again we have been very lucky and there was no long term damage. Friday we picked up Lyla from school and went with her for an ice cream at Scarborough, which we both enjoyed.

There we go I have fallen back into bad habits, no blog for 2 weeks.

Life has become almost boring, Elaine is doing as well as can be expected. There are the usual aches and pains connected with her cancer mostly helped dramatically by her medication. Having said that her medication is only a fraction of the amount that she was taking even a year ago, so that is a benefit and testifies to madam’s strength.